"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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