My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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