saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
