I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
