Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
