So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
