Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
