What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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