I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
