I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
