you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
