I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
