in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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