Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize