Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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