someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
