just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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