I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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