U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
