I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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