TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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