I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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