i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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