smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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