I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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