oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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