Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize