There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
tell me about the fingering
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
