All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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