She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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