i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize