can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
