the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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