I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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