Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
