just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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