i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
