what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
