I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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