Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize