dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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