My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
