I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
