She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
