google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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