she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
