Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
