I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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