Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
