if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
