Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
