Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
