They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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