You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
