The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize