Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
