Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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