i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
