you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
