girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
