Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
