I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
