So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
